Step 1? Choosing Happiness

Today's quote:
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself:
'I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
I can choose which it shall be.
Yesterday is dead.
Tomorrow hasn't arrived.
I have just one day, today and I'm going to be happy in it.'
Groucho Marx

Choosing happiness is perhaps the first step in achieving happiness. It sounds like such a logical step. The converse is also true. We can choose unhappiness, to wallow in the life we are leading, the poor choices we made, the bad luck that hit us (and no one else). This is so much easier to do. The lure of remaining unhappy, the look at me Eyeore "woh is me" approach to life is easy but it is scary. It's easy to become addicted to being unhappy. It's also the perfect excuse. I am not a business success because .. well you know... I am lonely and unloved because ... well .. who would want me after .....Hours, days, weeks, years.... suddenly we are the old hermit down the street who scares all of the children. Can we even remember the light hearted center of attention. spur of the moment, take the bull by the horns, carefree person we started out as?

I could have easily succombed to the woh is me syndrome. Even just the few items I have noted the past couple of days could make a perfect explanation for any retreat to isolation.

Instead I have chosen to stay in the game. I have spent more days than I can document going to work, to a party, to Church unhappy and miserable but no one in  the world was aware of it. To the world my mantra has been "It is what it is"; I am working with the hand I was dealt". I have gone into work singing and pretending everything is 100% or even 85%.. I have always figured if you start out at a high level ..pushing yourself if you have to ..then no matter what hits you during the day you have a shot at staying ahead of the game. On the other hand if you start the day at gutter level... pissing and moaning from the get go you can only expect to be miserable by the end of the day.... It really can be a choice.

Making the choice each day will add up to a solid habit. It takes 90 days to turn something into a habit. Start tomorrow. read Groucho's quote with meaning and give it a solid try. It may just surprise you.

As I was reading and researching  I was amazed to find out how many sources pop up  when you google "Choosing Happiness". Happiness is a business to many. Apparently far too many of us are unhappy. Perhaps we have given up on the how and feel the need to turn the project over to a professional. If the project is unsuccessful (we are still unhappy) the responsibilty is not ours... we can blame the company or consultant we hired.  Let's change that for 2011 and take charge of our own happiness.

Today we are going to choose to be happy.  Yet even with this choice I remain unhappy. There is more to this than making positive, in the present, statements.

We need to make a list of what makes us unhappy. These can be symptoms or other indicators that we need to address, to work on, to correct, etc. They are blocking our happiness no matter how we try to put the best face forward. We need to stop avoiding them. If we want real happiness we need to deal with them.

What makes me unhappy?
I have never been happy with my weight and I really need to get a handle on it. I really want to lose 25 pounds.
Hand in hand with this is the post 40's shape. I need to get things back in form. I need to regain flexibility and strength.
I need to gain control of my finances. I need to know Christmas won't be a disaster again and that there will be money in the account to pay the bills.
I miss my friends and need to find time to be with them... to really be with them.
I need to work on my time wasters - I dont want to schedule every moment of my life but I don't want to waste days when there are so many things I need to / want to accomplish.
I need to organize my world. I cannot find anything when I need it or even just want it. Perhaps I need to purge my world of many items I thought had been necessary or maybe I just need the right, usable organizer. More than likely it is a combination.
I need to deal with my marriage instead of hoping it will just go away. Truly, if I am being honest, this is the root that has resulted in all the rest of the items listed above. If I can deal with this maybe it will be easier to fix everything else.

I dont want to simply duck tape my world I want to embroider a masterpiece.

I am choosing happiness but I know there is much more to it than simply choosing.. but by the act of choosing and noting the things that are not working, I can create the road map to begin working on the various parts until I have reconstructed the puzzle.

I look forward to the journey.